So this was a very personal journey for me. I transitioned for nine months and then got a relaxer for a wedding. Well after the wedding I did not want to start over and decided on the big chop. I've had mixed feelings at each stage as I grew to love the hair that was showing up on my head on some days and simply appreciate it on others. But I never considered that others were sitting watching to see WHAT showed up on my head as well.
What began to shock me were the comments that are made to me on social media and even face to face about my curls and how they excluded me from really understanding the FULL journey of being natural. "At least it's curly...at least it grows fast...at least you don't have thiiisss texture" and then it hit me. These comments are very similar in spirit to the ones I would get concerning being a light skin black person. These comments were made to me as if my experience being black is somehow different because of my lighter skin. This was too similar! And quite frankly...I didn't come for this.
This is seemingly another thing that some of us are using to create division and pit us again each other. I don't want to take sides...I don't want to rep my set. If I'm going to be #teamnatural then that's it... I don't want to have to pick #teamkinkycurls or #teamspringycurls AND I SHOULDNT HAVE TO!!!
( Here is an example of some of the viewpoints out there http://actsoffaithblog.com/for-the-uninformed-this-is-what-natural-hair-looked-like-before-the-curly-infiltration-aka-new-black-took-over )
For years we have allowed ourselves to be shifted into subgroups that further stereotype us and create tensions.
As I walk around my sorority's international conference, my heart swells with pride as I see 15,000 women walking around being who they are...old, young, skinny, full figured, light, dark, natural, and relaxed. They are all walking around with their heads up high with a confidence that comes from belonging to something powerful. It's amazing because we are ALL different but we are members of a great movement and that gives our esteem an extra boost. We don't have to point out each other's differences because our collective differences only increase our strength.
Yes, I am lightskin and I also have curly hair but I don't want to be placed in the awkward position of defending my black or the struggles of my natural hair journey. When I'm with a group of white people they don't acknowledge my color or my curl...I'm just that black girl who is then responsible for singularly representing every other black woman in the world...yes all of you. Everything I do during that interaction with them causes them to identify that behavior with every other black woman. Why? I don't know... But my point is...everyone else sees us as BLACK WOMEN! Can we start doing the same? Can we stop labeling, discriminating against each other, and assuming things about each other based on these labels? If we stop drawing these lines in the sand, we will recognize how strong we are as a whole. We have a formidable group that could change the world if we start focusing on our own love, our own journey, our own destiny. I'm not on this journey to compare and contrast. My personal journey does not validate or reduce the next girl's journey. Whatever goals I have are based on my personal desires. When I compete with myself I make myself better but if I compete with the next girl, I will become bitter. What you have is not meant for me...that's why it's yours; and it's yours because God equipped you to handle it! So embrace your journey and encourage. the next girl on hers!
Thanks!
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